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PRISON PALS :)

Squee!

I am uber happy. I have an OD friend who rocks my socks and penpals with prisoners because of personal reasons. I <3 her. Anyway, I asked her to find me a penpal. She found me one that night I asked her for it. I wrote to that girl that night, and today I got a letter back! I am so happy!

A lot of you will judge prisoners but I don’t care. Not all of them are horrible mass murderers and I think after they do their time they deserve to be left alone. Honestly. Anyway, she wrote to me, and she seems like a sweetheart, only time will tell if she is sincere in her writing but for now, I will do my best to bring my little ray of sunshine to her cell. I am going to take a few pictures of the mountains and pretty landmarks and send them to her, as well as a few of me, cause I look wonderful, and I make everyone smile [lol]. I sent her one of me, but she requested a few more, just to help her get a better picture of who I am! She also said one thing she loves are song lyrics, so I will send her a few song lyrics. The letter to her is already written, and I will send it to her packed full of little “approved” goodies. I also plan on making my letters colorful and fun, not just boring ol’ white paper. I am so excited.

I didn’t expect to get a letter back. I expected her to not be interested [for whatever reason] but she is, and that makes me happy. I love pen pals, and this rocks.

I am thankful for my freedom, but I feel like I am forgetting about the ones who arent free. Some are in there and innocent. Some are in there because of stupid mistakes when they were younger. Some are career criminals who get out and go right back in. As a social worker I think its my duty to get into the mindset that these people are not bad. “Hate the sin, not the sinner”.

I am off to bed [its late] and I am tired, but I had to gush ;]

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16 Weeks Pregnant

Ahh. I am 16 weeks today. I feel so good right now. I am having some hip pain because they are spreading, but back to back pregnancies are known to be very very painful. Your body is literally fighting itself because it thinks it is supposed to be recovering from the first pregnancy but it also needs to make room for the new baby. My back muscles have not been able to get strong again to carry another baby, so I am dealing with back pain as well. I am okay with this but the pain sucks. I feel like I am neglecting this pregnancy in this diary. I don’t do weekly updates like I did with Junior, but I also feel like it would be too much for my readers. Stupid huh. I love my babies. I am so excited for this one. I am not sure how I will do as being a mommy of four, but I was unsure of being a mommy of three too and I rock at that.

Junior is growing up way too freaking fast. He is cruising along the furniture and holding himself up with one hand. Its so amazing to watch him change day after day. When he wants to be held he already says “up” and if you don’t listen to him he screams “up” he is so cute. If you look at him and smile he starts laughing and his little cheesy smile <3 I love this boy.

We decided we wont be finding out the sex. Jeff really wants to but I am being a bitch about it. I wont let him. I do not want to know, and if he knows I will beg him to tell me. I am going to go buy a little girls outfit and I have my baby boys outfit, both will be packed for the hospital. I am putting about 500 away for baby clothes for girls and if it ends up being a boy that’s great! I am hoping I feel as good after birth as I did with junior. I felt freaking amazing, and I could have went shopping right after having him. Fingers crossed I feel the same.

School is going well of course. And possibly a week from now I could leave if I could talk Jeff into it, but I know I cant LOL. I am going to end here, I have to clean today after lunch.

<---entry back one

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When You Arent Looking

As you can tell by my previous entries I had kind of given up on the female front. This is friends only because I really do not want to deal with the drama that will come with this from a couple people. Anyway.

I had given up on this, and I was becoming okay with possibly never finding a woman to be with. I was in school a few days ago and I was wearing my shirt that says "I dont hate you because you're straight, so why hate me because I am bisexual". We had to go to the library and I was sitting on the waiting area waiting for my teacher when this lady walked by who literally grabbed my attention. I was being polite and not staring, but she was hot. She made a comment about my shirt and I said thanks and she ended up sitting down and making small talk. When my teacher walked in, I told her that was my cue and I needed to go, so she asked if we could exchange numbers. I told her sure, and gave her mine. She literally texted me as I walked away, and we talked the entire day.

I didnt really expect it to go anywhere because once people find out what I am looking for, they say oh thats cool and bounce out. Not her. I explained it, and she asked some questions and said it was something she would be interested in. I was shocked. She is hot. I feel like I am not in her league, but I am not letting my insecurities ruin this. I will just roll with it and see where it goes.

She has a seven year old son, she is 25 years old. She has never been with a woman. THAT worries me. I am keeping my guard up, because I dont want to like her and then it come down to she isnt into women. We will see what happens. Everytime I get comfortable and give up, something like this happens. I am writing a real entry in a few minutes :)

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Jun. 14th, 2011

Mom called me yesterday. Her fiance is paying for me to come out there. I spoke to him and told him it wasnt needed, but that I truly appreciate it. I love that man, he is the best thing to happen to our family. Honestly.

I went to walgreens again today to get some more coupon rewards. In three days [since Sunday] I have saved 61 dollars! I am so happy, all of these things are things that I either buy on a regular basis or have wanted to buy but havent wanted to pay retail for it. If you want to follow my coupon savings, you can subscribe by email at addictedtoclipping.blogspot.com.

I am not going to bog down this diary with it, since many of you probably do not care!

I got my scentsy order today, and ohmyfreakinggod. I will only buy this from now on. I used to get the stuff from yankee candle, this smells SO MUCH BETTER. I am doing oats and honey right now and every time Jeff walks in the house he goes "this smells so good" lol.

Anyway, I am off to go eat some food :)

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Extreme Couponer

I am so excited.  I started 'crazy couponing' last night.  I am paying 7.95 for 40.00 worth of air freshener product.  I will be paying 25.91 for 71.92 worth of schick products.  I will be paying 1.00 for 12 bucks worth of Bayer products.

Wanna know how???

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Grooms Cake...Opinions Please

I am surprising my husband with a grooms cake at our wedding. *Back Story* We got married in 2008 at the court house, we are planning an actual wedding, and acting like its our first wedding and not just a vow renewal. Anyway. I am surprising him with a grooms cake. It will be one of three designs...

The first would be a 1932 Ford Sedan. It would basically be a remake of the car his father gave to him before he died (that his fathers wife sold illegally). I am thinking of making a custom car shop in the back so it looks like the ford is in the parking lot since his love of cars came from his mechanic of a father. I know this cake would make him cry at the wedding, I dont know how he feels about that

The second idea is tied in with the third. The second is basically a cake based on his favorite 360 game, the third is a Mario Brothers Cake. I might tie the last two together if thats what I choose.

The question is (and my facebook is practically split 50/50 on this) do I present this to him at our Rehearsal dinner or at the Reception next to our cake? Did you have a grooms cake? How did you present it?

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The Mundane

Oh it was a nice night.  Jeff went out to his friends house, and left me here.  He wanted to visit them, which is fine, I needed some me time anyway.  I watched "Say Yes To The Dress" all night.  That was fun, I was looking at wedding dresses and it was the plus size editions, so it gave me a little hope.  Although I am not HUGE I am considered plus size.  I will be losing a crap ton of weight before I get married.  I have 2 years and 4 months until I get married (again).  I have some goals for me to get the dream wedding that I want.  And you know..I think goals are good anyway.

I will list those out at the end of this entry.  I plan on spending today cleaning.  I am hoping its kind of a crappy day today, I bought the kids a "water park" but I would prefer to get the house clean today and spend tomorrow playing!  I have a little school work to catch up on, but that's easy peasy.  My house, yeah its destroyed.  I have a hard time figuring out WHY when I go to school for 8 hours on Tuesday and Thursday am I expected to come home at 8 at night and make dinner.  Why I am expected to clean my house when I am exhausted and there are two stay at home people here.  It is draining.  I am going to just begin to do every day cleaning.  When Jeff and I were just here he did everything, but now that B is here he is slacking..so I will get back into the flylady routine.  I am getting my house done today and then I will be keeping it up. 

I am so tired.  I like my alone time, and the nights where I can be a fatty and just veg out on the couch watching TV, but I get uneasy at night when Jeff isnt here.  I literally curled up in a ball on the couch with every light in the house on and the tv on, and of course the house completely locked up.  I just fell asleep when I heard my door open and I almost peed my pants I was so terrified, and he didnt text before he got here, so I didnt know who it was.

I am 15 weeks pregnant already.  WHAT!?  I will be giving birth in about 25 weeks.  That baffles me.  Seriously. 

GOALS by January 1st 2012


Be bringing in Money
Have completed my Certified Addictions Counseling Classes
Be eligible to be a member of PTK

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Wanting what you have

I hate this feeling.  My ex texted me today.  No big deal except it reminds me of the lifestyle I want and what is missing from it.  I always try to live by the saying "Happiness isnt having what you want its wanting what you have" and 99.999 percent of the time I want what I have.  But then a girl slaps me in the face again and I remember that I dont have what I want completely.  I doubt I will ever find that.  Ever.  I am resisting the urge to go looking for what I "want" right now.  It will pass.  The urge for a woman will pass in a few hours or days.  Right???  Ugh.  This is so damn frustrating.  I cant shake it right now..but I am going to.  I am going to.

Mom called.  She wants to send me gas money.  She is going to see what she can do, and if she can we will be going, but if she cannot we wont be going.  I did not even ask her.  She started crying today when I told her that we wouldnt be going and said let me see what I can do.  I told her no, that I didnt want her money, but she insisted, said something is telling her she needs to see us.  I am worried about what is pulling us together.  I pray that its not my brother, that its not close to his time, but something in this universe is telling me and her that we need to see each other.
 
Sigh.

I am going to make food.  I keep going back to dwelling on the first paragraph and this crap is throwing me off.

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Can I Rant?

My mother in laws boyfriend has property on a lake.  I am sure you have heard me talk about it.  We go up there a lot in the summer.  The whole weekend we were camping he was complaining that he could be at the lake and it would be so much better.  I personally LOVED it.  We decided today we were having Junior's party at a national park called The Great Sand Dunes National Park.  I texted her and asked if she would show up if we had it there she said "hmm of course".  I booked the group site, and three hours later (just now) she texts and says "we could have a lake party, only 25 bucks to rent the club house".  MOTHER FUCKER NO.  I WANT TO DO SOMETHING OTHER THEN GO TO YOUR STUPID LAKE HOUSE.  I love the lake, but I do not want to go there every fucking day.  Its annoying, its lame.  I want to do something new.  I hate it when she does this shit.  EVERYTIME I schedule something for my kids, she does this.  UGHUGHUGHUGHUGH. 

She pisses me off.  She really [really] does.

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Jun. 9th, 2011

I am going to go take classes to become an addiction counselor.  It will cost me about 1,000 dollars to take all the classes, BUT the good thing is that once I take my classes I have to do 1,000 hours of work before I can get certified.  A lot of people I know have gotten that done while being paid for it.  I am looking into that option, especially for my practicum.  I think an addiction counselor would be a good step into human services and a way to branch out from it.  It is something I never thought I would want to do, but I am excited for the new journey.

I missed class yesterday because the van broke down, and once I miss one class I want to miss more.  Like today, I want to “skip” but I am not going to.  I am going to go.  It would be good for me to go.  I really am TRYING to turn over a new leaf with this damn semester.

I am waiting on hearing from the van guy today to let us know to come get it.  That should be fun.  I am hoping we get it back today I really am, but we probably wont get to pick it up until tomorrow since I am in school from 2 til 8. 

I am tired, even though I got to sleep until 9.  I am going to make some reservations for camping tonight or tomorrow.  That way, I have things to do this summer.  I have to schedule some meet ups as well.

I think I need to go make my lunch.  My allergies are worked up.  I got a road trip book to give me some ideas of things to do with the kids.  Its got every state and things that are interesting.  I want to find more ideas for things in Colorado.  That is pretty much my plan for the summer since I wont be going anywhere else.

Anyway, I am off to go get ready for school and do a little research.

PS I am sorry I havent been a good commenter, I am working on it. 

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